SNS training was relatively slack today. Nothing much to talk about.
Saw adorable babies on the way to school and back home today, they were really really cute!
Became a creep and stared at them throughout the whole journey to and fro hehe.
So today, I did something I never thought I had the strength to do.
But I did so anyway and I feel proud of myself.
While I won’t say what I did
even if you asked me personally I won’t say it unless you already know the situationNever thought I’d do it. Really.
I always prided myself on leaving things without having a single emotional scar.
I don’t know why it’s different this time and why it took so long for me to give up.
BUT I’m not going dwell on it, it doesn’t matter anymore.
I had overestimated my feelings towards the issue.
Because I didn’t feel a thing when I gave it up.
Which is the best case scenario anyway.
It’s times like these where feelings are overrated and a burden.
Feelings. Sometimes it’s temporary, sometimes it’s permanent.
But it changes you all the same. It blinds you.
Then when you finally snapped out of it, you would think “why didn’t I give up earlier?”
Because once that feeling is gone, you no longer feel tied down to it.
Hence, giving up just seems so easy afterwards.
I feel weirdly cleansed. Which is weird since I only did one single thing, which is to give up.
Maybe the issue had been secretly haunting me for the past few weeks,
but I had other bigger worries to worry about.
Maybe it’s because I really tried. Like really tried alot of times for it to work.
But sometimes, no matter how much you try, it’s just never going to work out.
So I’m just going to give up. But I do know that I tried my very best to make things work.
Maybe my hardest wasn’t good enough for you after all.
But it doesn’t matter, because I no longer care.
And really, I don’t mean it in a bad way.
“An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage,
concludes that it makes a better soup.”
― Bertrand Russell