Reflection

It’s going to be 2014 in 3 (soon to be 2) days time. So….I shall be mainstream and reflect on how this year have been.

I’m not proud of it.

Honestly…

Yeah, pretty much got myself feeling miserable for almost half a year. Kind of resented and blamed people for my misery when it was pretty much my fault alone.  Shouldn’t have listened when people told me continue on etc etc, maybe I could have saved myself alot of trouble. Not saying what those people said were wrong, because I love them for being there for me. Maybe it’s just that the advice they had given weren’t for me. I will never ever regret following their advice or asking their advice.Problem was that I should have just listened to myself right from the start. But it’s over. Yeah it is, at least for now. I do understand I’m never going to be able to run away from this forever.

But I’m free. For now.

The dark side…

2013 also brought out the worst in me. Probably because I was miserable from my issues. Or maybe it’s just my personality haha. I get annoyed at people easily and other stuff. And I think I became more blunt and quite possibly, hurtful. (Sorry…) But on a bright side, at least I didn’t lose of my temper. I was pretty calm most of the time…I think. I became more pessimistic, not that I was an all sunshine and rainbow girl but you know…I was actually happygirl96 pretty much everyday before 2013 happened.

Initial worries of co-ed and an all new environment….

The whole transition from all girls to co-ed wasn’t that bad for me. I’m very glad to have signed up for camps before school started because I had the time to adapt to being in a co-ed environment. But then again, my class only have 2 guys so there’s nothing much to adapt to actually. But either way, I’m thankful to have gone through 2 camps (FOCAS and LSCT FOC) as going to an all new environment had terrified me. Hence seeing all these familiar faces, close or not, gave me some comfort in school. Although I may no longer talk to some of you but I’m thankful towards all of you for making my life in poly less miserable.

Friends…

Met amazing friends in poly ♥ LOVE LOVE LOVE ♥ You know who you are, so I feel no need to name all these amazing friends I’ve made this year. I’m thankful for having to have known all of you and I hope all these friendships we’ve made will last a lifetime. My friends, you guys are fantastic.

That doesn’t mean the friends I’ve made before poly don’t mean a thing to me now. You guys are also equally as important to me, maybe even more so. All of you have been there for me for so long that sometimes I might not even come to thank you for it. So here’s a big thank you for putting up with me and my bullshit. Especially with it being a rather hard and miserable year for me. Just know that even when I may have forgot to thank you, I still really do appreciate it. The arguments and disagreements we have made this past year might be upsetting and all, but all these serves to strengthen our friendship as a whole. So whenever you feel down from our disagreements, just remember that no matter how much we fight/disagree on, our friendship isn’t so easily dissolved. We can go through setbacks together.

And although…

I said it was a pretty bad year for me. But I didn’t say I never enjoyed it, because I did. Change of environment, change of this and that. Yes, it wasn’t my best year. But from this year alone, I learned a lot. And from what I’ve gone through this year, I will take my experiences and become a better person next year. This year will serve as a year of learning for me. I’ve gone through certain setbacks but all these eventually served and made me into a stronger person that I am today. It was miserable for me,however I will never regret it. There could be some choices I could have chose to make my life better, but if I had chosen those choices, I wouldn’t have the chance to discover something that I never saw in myself before. I came out of this year as a wiser person nonetheless. So maybe…just maybe this year wasn’t so bad after all.

“Sometimes, you have to look back in order to understand the things that lies ahead.” 
― Yvonne WoonDead Beautiful

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