Birthday Blues

My birthday is in two days and I don’t know what to think. I don’t know to describe this emotion I’m feeling but it feel kind of weird? I have honestly been dreaming about the day I turn eighteen ever since I was like nine years old. And to think that nine years have simply just passed just like that. Now I’m heading to the big 1-8 territory, I’m not sure what to think. I feel old. After 18, it will be the big 2-1 then you hit your mid twenties then thirties….Instead of worrying about our grades, we’d be worrying about our work. Instead of envying the working adults for their independence, we’d be envying the young ones for their vigor and youth. We will be heading to our deaths before anyone knows it.

I know at this point everyone who is reading this would just simply roll their eyes like come on you are just seventeen turning eighteen. And I know it’s morbid and disturbing to be thinking about death but I just can’t help it. Stressing and over-thinking is my life. It’s like my daily ritual, which brings me to dailypost’s prompt of the day. While it’s not particularly my favorite, it’s something I do everyday so I get on with life.  Of course worrying about when you’re going to expire isn’t going to help in any possible way. But I don’t want to reach the stage when I’m going expire soon and regret not doing things that I always wanted to do.

So I’ve decided. I’m going to make a bucket list on my eighteenth birthday. And I’m going to make damn sure I actually fulfill all of them so that I won’t live to regret in the future.

 

“Our biggest regrets are not for the things we have done but for the things we haven’t done” 
― Chad Michael Murray

 

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